Another Brave Beginning

I’m back at the keys.

It’s been 17 months since I blogged. I know because I looked back.

My last blog was really intense. I may have scared myself quiet. It happens.

In my last post I alluded to my book that I was writing to help the world. Sigh. My unfinished book sits on my hard drive (and a thumb drive, just in case). It is, what it is…for now.

I wonder if I’ll pick it back up.

Will I find my inner-brave-woman to complete the project someday?

I have missed the keys. I can feel that now.

So, why now? What has lead me back to the blank blog page?

A yearning.

A stirring.

A heart.

My heart.

And community.

I’m in a blogging course, joining with others…blogging beside each other…maybe oceans between us. Susanne is helping me with my yearning, the stirring, my heart, our hearts…and the keys.

Today, in class I was invited to write and post. So, here I am…again.

Hello. Are you there? Am I here? Will I show up and click the publish button?

Am I as brave as I lead others to be?

Doing brave things is close to my heart. It’s kinda a piece of my mission. To be brave. To encourage others to be brave, too.

Every day requires some amount of bravery, don’t you think? But to pick back up on something that we love, like writing…or anything else that pulls on our hearts…after setting it aside feels good somehow. Are you setting something you love, something that means so much to you, aside, and you don’t even know exactly why you set it aside? Maybe it’s a brave-thing. To pick it back up takes that courage.

This is how I feel about my writing.

That said, I journal almost every day. I do write daily. I can’t imagine life without my personal notebooks and favorite pens beside my favorite chair and ottoman.

Journal writing is so very, very personal —- only between me and me…well, and God. There are lots of prayers in there to God and answers back from God…as I hear God in my inner self and in that quiet time.

Blogging is different. It is different because it is shared.

The longest I have ever stayed true to blogging was in September 2010 when I began with a piece entitled, “Search for Significance”. My gosh that was six years ago. I blogged for seven months pretty faithfully.

So much life has been lived since then.

Looking at my blog(s), I see that I gave it a try about a year later (March 2013). And then I went silent again for another 2 years before writing a few blogs in March 2015.

Regardless of the history, what I can say is that it feels great to turn on just the right music and put my hands back on these keys, playing upon the keys like I play a piano.

And also, right now, it feels clumsy.

I even feel some (gasp!) shame (can I say that word, here?) that I have been away for so long.

I feel fraudulent – Who am I to write back out in the open…. again?

I know the answer to that question:  My life matters, as does yours.

Final random thoughts I considered while starting again…to blog…starting again:

  • Today is my parent’s sixty-first wedding anniversary.
  • I consider giving up beer and sweets really often, but I never stick to it.
  • My hubs and I will take our sixth fall vacation together later this month.
  • Confidence comes from doing scary things.
  • I have surely missed these keys and this blank page.

I’m glad to be back.

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